Good Morning Messages, Good Night Messages, Romantic Messages, Love Messages, Weekend Messages, jumma messages, Birthday Messages


Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Our relationship is like tom & jerry. We tease each other, chase each other, knock down each other, irritate each other but we cannot live without each other


* * * * *


What did the O say to the Q?
Dude, your dick’s hanging out.


* * * * *


I will follow you everywhere, as long as you will let me COME with you.



You are the cheese to my onion, the salt to my vinegar, the tea to my biscuit, the h 2 my O! xxx

* * * * *

You have got a hypnotic cleavage. I do not think I can look at anything else but it, when we are together.

* * * * *

Your bulge is driving me mad.

* * * * *

Your dessert is HOT and READY for you.


dirty messages


Do you know if there is a way that I can resist those juicy lips of yours?


* * * * *


A man is lying on the beach, sun bathing, wearing nothing but a cap over his dick.
An ugly woman is passing and remarks “If you were a gentleman, you would lift your hat for a lady.”
He replies “If you were any sort of lady, the hat would lift itself!”


* * * * *


What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.




* * * * *


Three words to ruin a man’s ego.
“Is it in?”


* * * * *


A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. He shouted at her, “You aren’t so good in bed either!” then stormed off to work. By mid-morning, he decided he’d better make amends and called home. “What took you so long to answer?” he asked. “I was in bed,” she replied. “What were you doing in bed this late?” “Getting a second opinion.”


* * * * *


A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,” he observed. To the first mother, he said, “You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter Candy.” He turned to the second mom. “Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.” At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, “Come on, Dick, let’s go.”





One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, “Please send me a sister.” Santa Clause wrote him back, “Ok, send me your mother.”


* * * * *


Boy in the bath with his mum. Boy says, “Whats that hairy thing mum?” Mum replies, “That is my sponge.” “Oh yes,” says the boy, “The babysitters got one, I’ve seen her washing dads face with it.”


* * * * *


What is the difference between “ooooooh”and “aaaaaaah”?
About three inches.


* * * * *


A man goes to the doctor for his annual check-up, and the doctor tells him, “You need to stop masturbating.”
The man asks, “Why?”
The doctor replies, “Because I’m trying to examine you”


* * * * *


What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb.




Why cannot I take your wet kisses out of my mind?

* * * * *

How will I be able to contain myself when I know that you are in the shower right now?

* * * * *

Did you think about me when you were in the bath tub today?

* * * * *

Just the smell of you gives me shivers.


0 Comment:

Post a Comment