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Thursday, December 4, 2014

Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway

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Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work

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I'm off saving the world from self-destruction. Try me later




Wife:What is 10 years with me?
Husband:A second.

Wife:What is $1000 for me?
Husband:A coin.

Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second

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Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.

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I always think about u.
I can’t live without u.
I really need u.
I’m totally mad about u.
I just wanna be with u.
I’m crazy 4 u.
I wanna marry u.
I love u.
My neighbour says all this to me



The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'

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They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

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The smallest word is i, the sweetest word is love and the dearest person in the world is you. Thats why i love you :)

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A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first.

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When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.



What I do when I see someone pretty is I stare I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down.

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If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

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